Life....why are you so hard?

So I finally started school with the girls this week. Originally my goal was the first week in September....but then we got sick and then we got a puppy....you get the picture.

So Monday we started and it was a no good horrible very bad day....okay maybe it wasn't that bad but it wasn't great either. The schedule I had worked so hard on just isn't working. Trying to teach a 3 year old and a 6 year old different things at the same time just isn't working. Not getting enough sleep isn't helping either. Throw in a puppy who needs some serious training with a one year old who is starting to throw fits and don't forget about the house that needs cleaning, laundry, meals, errands, etc, etc. I'm frustrated to say the least. Oh and did I mention Jake has been working overtime (60+ hour weeks) since we moved.....We're going on 2.5 months of that. Plus Jake's car(s) broke down....again. So most days I am carless....which is fine except for those days when I NEED chocolate (which is everyday) and there is NO chocolate in the house (which is often).

Lately I've been struggling with trying to balance everything. I know I am not perfect. I know my children are not perfect. But I just want to do it all and I want to do it well. I want my house to look nice and be clean. I want my children to enjoy school and be happy. I want my puppy to be well-trained. I want to exercise everyday. I want! I want! I want! I want!

Wow. I sound selfish....I am selfish. It's a fact and a truth that I don't deny. Though part of me thinks that wanting the things I listed above isn't necessarily selfish considering they are wants for good things. Things for my family. It is still a bad attitude to have.  I need to work on my attitude.

I'm trying to figure it out. I'm taking the day off from school today so I can reschedule and organize our days better. I want to glorify God in everything that I do. It is a hard thing to accomplish....I am not perfect....but I am certainly going to try to be the person God has called me to be....and hopefully someday I'll know who that person is supposed to be.

So many times other moms have told me that this time will pass. When the kids are young it's hard to get it all done. But I am determined to try at least. One thing that I'm fairly certain would help is if we didn't move so much. I constantly feel like I'm in a state of waiting. Waiting for the next move. I know it will be coming. I know it will distrupt our whole lives....again. I know it will be months of searching for a place, packing and then unpacking....only to go through the whole process again in a year or less. I'm over it and ready to put down roots. To have a house that I can decorate and paint the way I want. To have a place that is constant; where we can stay for a very long time....like TWO years! ;) ha. To have a home.

I can see us staying in this place for at least 2 years but that sort of makes me sad because the longer we stay here the more I'm going to LOVE it and the harder it will be to move on.

okay...rant over.... =)

Back to the scheduling.....You just might hear from me later this week!